Test is best
Complexity gives you less, not more
At the start, I was obsessed with learning as much as possible. My mind was made a long time prior. Steroids were inevitable. I started working out at 12, with my uncle who was an absolute unit of a bodybuilder, and my dad. Progressed to solo lifting by 14 at a nearby gym. At 19 I knew where I was heading, but wanted to be prepared. The science and knowledge went deep, and mostly over my head at times because I lacked the personal experience to weigh it against. This was far, far before any LLM slop or health influencers and grifters on social media. This was back in the golden age of steroid forums. Forums which consisted of some of the smartest, and biggest motherfuckers you’d ever see pictures of and get a chance to talk to.
For at least two years, every night. Combing through all the forums. Page counts getting to the hundreds. Reading messages posted by guys a decade prior, with me wondering if they were still even alive the day I was reading their posts. Flip flopping between opinions on what I needed to do, or start with. I’d read all the cycle logs. I’d listen to the bro philosophers break down why “X“ hormone was the best, why it gave you “Y“ look. Reading the same starter advice over and over, from so many different voices and people that had been in the game for years. Somehow thinking I was too good for it, or I’d be different. Typical stubborn young guy shit. As usual with my life, I needed to learn the hard way for it to click.
That starter advice I was ignoring? The golden fucking rule for your first cycle or blast:
Testosterone only.
I dove head first into my blast, with a healthy mix of NPP, Dbol and Testosterone. For my first time. Estrogen is a finicky little bitch, to say the least. And everyone, I mean every fucking single person, responds differently to it. That first cycle of testosterone only should be serving as your guiding light for the path you’re about to likely embark on for a good portion of your life. Its going to show you two very important things:
How you respond to testosterone in general.
How you are affected by estrogen.
This is because testosterone is, and will forever be the base of all your cycles. You need testosterone to feel good. I shouldn’t need to explain that low test as a man puts you in a slow, perpetual kind of hell. Your body will forever take the lazy route. Any time you introduce exogenous hormones, whether it’s test, deca, dbol or equipoise, it signals to your nuts and HPTA axis to shut down the natural production. Testosterone is and forever will be, a staple in your enhanced career. There is no single hormone that will provide better risk adjusted gains for you, dollar for dollar. Cheap, effective and easy to source. Not only will it provide some of the best quality of gains, it will also provide the least amount of side effects when properly managed. Quite the deal. Understanding how you respond to it at varying doses pays fucking dividends in the long run.
Even your first time running testosterone solo, you don’t know shit. You don’t understand what your body is trying to signal. You can’t make the distinction yet. Many high and low estrogen symptoms mimic each other. You’re probably paranoid of gyno and rubbing your nipples like a freak when you think nobody is looking. You don’t have multiple cycles or years worth of bloodwork results to verify what you’re seeing and feeling.
My dumbass, like most things in life, decided “go big, or go fucking home”. And I got big. Real big, real quick. But I felt like shit. I couldn’t tell if it was estrogen from the test fucking me up. At the time, I didn’t even realize Dbol aromatized into Methylestradiol, which my AI wouldn’t have done shit for anyways, and would my bloodwork would have missed it as well. To build on this dumb decision, I couldn’t tell if it was NPP and the typical 19-Nor prolactin side effects giving me hell, and I didn’t realize that they would have been heavily aggravated from my fucked up estrogen situation either. I introduced three unknown variables at the same time. It made bloodwork meaningless. The complexity didn’t give me more like I had boldly assumed, it gave me less. I had less control of my body. Trying to troubleshoot my side effects was like taking a shot in the dark. Might as well have been in a casino, pulling on the fucking slot machine hoping to hit a jackpot to solve my problems.
My body and strength was enhanced, but my life was not. If you’re going down this route, you should always be aiming for both.
That’s the name of the game. Life enhancement.
A game you have to learn on your own through trial and error. What works for some, may not work for others. Once you understand your response to estrogen, and you figured out a way to manage it in whatever way your body agrees with most... It’s smooth fucking sailing, on a nice, calm sunny day.
By comparison, on the cycles where I blasted Deca or NPP, it was like taking a boat into a fucking hurricane at times.
Emotionally flat, dull or depressive. Hard to describe, not an aggressive mental state, but not a good one either.
Numb, half broken dick at times that was very hard to dial in. Part of the game with 19-Nors, and why understanding your estrogen response early on is crucial.
Bloat that made testosterone puffiness look mild. Looking like the moon faced Michelin man.
Lingering side effects for months after, if I used Deca. The clearance time on that stuff is much longer compared to your typical enanthate or cypionate esters.
Sure, I was strong. Strong as fuck. Put on some good weight. My joints did feel better as well. But me as a person? Fucking awful. And if you’re anything like me, you like to finish what you start. Deca’s a long, slow haul. Minimum 5 months if you want to do it right, ideally a bit longer than that. That’s a long time to be suffering in the name of packing on a few pounds. Unless you’re making money off of your physique, or you’re one of the few that genuinely respond well to the stuff...
Who could forget Tren? It’s a vicious compound that has earned its reputation. I had a massive love and hate relationship with it for many years. It got to the point where my ex told me she’d break up with me if I kept taking it. In fact, thats probably one of the best ways to describe Tren. It’s like that toxic ex you keep going back to. You know the one, she’s hot, but completely fucking crazy. Ruined your life once or twice. All your friends tell you that you need to stay as far away as possible... But you just can’t help it. Every once in a while you gotta go back for a little more. If Deca was like sailing into a hurricane, Tren was like taking a paddle boat into an oncoming tsunami.
You can’t sleep. You stare at the ceiling in a pool of cold, musky gross sweat that turns your pillow yellow. All you can hear is your heartbeat.
Every once in a while, you nick a vein while injecting and get to experience the joy of Tren cough.
You will be horny enough to fuck a hole in the wall, and when you do fuck, you cant cum.
You’ll be so horny that your standards will evaporate into nothing. Fat, skinny, whatever. They can all get it.
You’re probably taking it to cut, so you’re not only sleep deprived... You’re also hungry as fuck, and a bit of a cunt.
Tren is, and was something else. I looked great. I was very strong, deep into cutting phases when I wouldn’t have been otherwise. But mentally... I was somewhere else. Not always a good place either. Vivid nightmares. A definite change in character that you don’t notice until you come off of it and people suddenly ask if you’re doing better. An exhausting experience for myself, and sometimes the people around me. And for what? A few extra veins in my arms and legs? Some extra plates on the bar when i’m near the end of my diet and basically eating dust? It eventually ends, and the look goes with it regardless.
The physical strain was real as well, heavily reflected in my blood pressure, heart rate and bloodwork. Coming from the GH15 era, I used and abused far too much trenbolone. We all did. It is what it is, and it taught me a lot. There’s a time and place for it for sure, but that time and place is for a select few that actually compete and step on a stage. It provides a unique look that in many cases can’t be beat, but at very real mental and physical costs.
My testosterone cycles?
Happy.
Hungry.
Horny.
Three words to describe a properly executed testosterone cycle.
Most cycles and blasts might have one or two of those words as a description.
Easy work. Predictable. No sleep issues. My mental state was sharp, clear and driven. Confidence was always high. No depressive, obsessive or jealous thoughts. Libido was high, but not at the degenerate levels provided by Tren. Dick functioning great, with none of the 19-Nor numbing effects. No need for cabergoline or pramiprexole. After I figured how my body responded to estrogen, I was able to ditch AI’s all together as well. Quality muscle and strength packed on month to month, with little to no downside mentally or physically. Blood pressure and resting heart rate were always in much better shape, and bloodwork always looked much better too.
Toss in a few units of HGH daily, or on a 5-2 schedule. The way HGH complements testosterone is perfect. After about 6 months you’ll see the skin and joint benefits. A near constant fullness. Better, deeper sleep. And you’ll lean out much quicker while dieting as well. Increasing those already existing endogenous hormones through exogenous means truly is the way to go. You could conceivably run testosterone for the rest of your life within reason. And these days, that’s giving you an unfair advantage. Look around. The average male consumes nothing but slop, and swims through an ocean of toxic shit while possessing negligible levels of testosterone. Most don’t do anything to better themselves physically. The bar has never been lower. This is a good thing for anyone with some agency; it’s never been easier to help yourself rise to the top.
The worst side effects?
Mild acne issues. Looking and feeling a bit bloated, but still okay. A distractingly high libido, but nowhere near tren levels. Over time, I began to pick up on the subtle signals my body would show me. Estrogen just became less and less of a problem. That paranoid fear of gyno, or it being too high, or too low just faded away with experience... It was as easy as staying lean, using a strong androgen to complement it (i.e masteron, winstrol), or by pinning daily, whether it was short or long ester. The hormonal rollercoaster caused by the peaks and valleys with infrequent pinning in particular is what causes most issues in the first place. Most will do better pinning their test every day letting their estrogen creep a bit to the higher end, than they will trying to play god with aromasin or anastrozole. If you know, you know. You only need to truly crash your estrogen once or twice to know what an awful experience it is.
Testosterone done right enhances your entire life, without sacrificing your longevity the way some of the harsher hormones can. That should be the overall goal of steroid use and lifting. I spent far too many years and blasts feeling like shit, or mentally unwell for the sake of throwing up a few extra pounds and getting a little more shredded. Looking back, this was not worth it. At all. Once I started primarily using testosterone for basically everything... it was just so much better.
Keep it simple.
Enhance your entire life, not just the few hours you spend in the gym.